For Maureen Dowd

For Maureen Dowd on her Misapplication

of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice to John Kerry during the 2004 Presidential Campaign

John Kerry from Boston

ran into Jane Austen

in a pub on the outskirts of Stroud.

Said he, “Do you think”

(Whilst having a drink)

“I’m as prideful as claimed by Ms. Dowd?

Said Jane, with a smile,

“She’s off by a mile.

You’re no Collins, of that I am certain!”

“He’s compliant and smarmy,

Sycophantic and sneaky,

And you’re not. End of plot. Final curtain.”